* My office hours are by appointment only.
I like to get out of here early.
* Ten percent of your grade is based on class participation.
I'll be fudging your grades.
* This won't be on the test.
Nap time!
* Bring the text to class.
I don't have a clue how to lecture--we'll just kill time with group
read-alongs.
* Talk to the department secretary.
Get lost.
* Talk to me in my office after class.
Get out of my face.
* The tests will all be multiple-choice.
I take questions directly from the study guide and have grad students do
all my grading.
* Don't come in late during my lecture.
I have the attention span of a fruit fly.
* Save your questions until the end.
See above.
* The final will be comprehensive.
I'll expect you to recapitulate in two hours everything I couldn't fully
cover myself in 15 weeks.
* Everyone will prepare in-class oral presentations.
This course is outside my specialty--I'll just bluff it and let YOU
teach.
* There are two TAs available to help you.
I can't be bothered.
* This year I'll be scaling the grades.
I just passed tenure review.
* Let's break up into quiet discussion groups.
I have a hangover.
* Let's have class outdoors today!
I had beans for lunch.
* You won't be able to sell back the text to the bookstore.
My contract wasn't picked up.
* Please note the last day to withdraw.
The midterm's gonna suck.
* The answer to number 4 is "b," and just skip number 17.
I only got around to making up the test last night.
* The second list is optional reading.
I have a rich fantasy life.
* I haven't had a chance to make up the syllabus for this course yet.
The idiot department chair stuck me with teaching this course at the
last possible minute.
* Well, it was on the syllabus.
I'll hold you responsible for this even though I forgot about it myself.
* We'll just skip the term paper this semester.
There wasn't enough in the budget for a TA.
* Bring a number 2 pencil to the exam.
See above.
* Attendance is required and will be counted in your grade.
I'm so boring that no one would show up otherwise
* Read chapters 5 through 10.
I'm not coming in at all next week
* We'll have to cover this chapter quickly.
I screwed up the lecture schedule.
* Let's go over the exam.
Half of you failed.
* It was in the textbook.
I pulled it out of thin air.
* I'm postponing today's exam.
There's stuff on the exam I forgot to cover.
* Don't write on the question sheet.
I'm so lazy I just use the same exams every semester.